I have learned much in the past two years, it’s like brain overload.  I have felt alone, stressed, eager, impressed, love, friendship, sadness.  I have developed many friendships with real people, people who authentically care.  We go through life sometimes just letting all the simple things pass you by.  I am getting a divorce from an 11 year marriage.  Sometimes it’s crazy how you think you know someone and you really don’t.  It’s a crazy feeling….. , Imagine thinking you have found your soul mate and are willing to give up everything to just get that person back…. Everything… I now realize that God has a purpose and knows that I did everything I could to do what a man is supposed to do and fight for what I believed was right biblically and in my heart.  I realize a lot of what I was fighting for the loss of seeing my son and step son growing up daily, their arguing with each other, their happiness, and their progression through life. The hardest part of the whole thing is showing my kids what a broken home is… Sure their mother and I could get with someone else, but that would not fix anything… Something else that goes through my mind is what my 12 year old son is going through. He was only a year old when I met his mother and was her son from a previous relationship.  He taught me how to be a father… I have been in his life for 11 years, 11…. He is my son.  I know that God does things for a reason… Only God knows and understands the reasoning behind everything. If I truly trust in the Lord, I will let this coarse run and allow him to guide and mold me in the direction of my future. I now know that you can lead a horse to the water but you cannot make them drink… You can love someone whole heartily but if they don’t love you back, you will get nowhere.  You can try as hard and as long as you can, but if the other party doesn’t, you will fail.  What is love? Is love always having the butterflies throughout your life? Is love knowing your partner inside and out? Is love knowing what your partner likes or feeling hurt when they feeling hurt? I want to discover what a true soul mate really is.. I know there has to be someone out there for me, someone who is a loyal good partner, someone who knows the values of family and will respect and not yell at you.  I know there is someone out there for me.  Only God knows if I will ever meet them or not in my lifetime.

Lord God, I pray that you give me the peace of finding the right person for me and my kids, who will blend with my friends and family….

Joe Lovrek